1) When I told him we could not stay at the BBQ restaurant he had selected for our meeting spot because I could not have a conversation with him sitting in a meat-cloud.
2) When he told me "I swim, play football...pretty much every sport to keep in shape...my friend saw me without my shirt on and couldn't believe it," and then proceeded to stand up turn his back to me, TIGHTEN HIS LIGHT BLUE POLYESTER SHIRT AROUND HIS WAIST SO THAT HE COULD SHOW ME HIS…well muscled love handles??? I guess.
3) When he made sure to tell me that he had been out with a "female friend" the night before "VERY late."
4) When he said, right as the third glass of wine was kicking in, making him look somewhat do-able, "Okay, so I think we should end this here. I have to go meet some people." To which I replied "You are actually ridiculous. I'm out of here," at which point I said goodbye to everyone in the bar except for him, and stormed out onto the street. He followed me, calling my name. I stopped, turned, and said "Thank you so much for the drinks, Jersey, but I think we should end this here." And then I proceeded down the street.
5) When I received 5 text messages throughout the night from him starting with
“I think ure awesome” (9pm)
to “Come meet me.” (2am)
to “Where are you?” (2:30am)
to “U up?” (3:00am),
and finally “I am so horny for you right now.” (3:39pm).
Mr. Wonderful? Or MR RIGHT??!!