Friends Letting Friends Date Drunk

Thursday, September 11, 2008

'She's Crazy"

I recently went on a date with a guy who repeatedly referred to his ex-girlfriend as crazy.

1) This guy was seriously cheap. For our second date he suggested, and I quote, "Why don't you come over and we'll drink PBRs in my back yard (on the upper east side) so we can save money." I laughed out loud.

2) His nose was seriously pert.

If I had a nickle for every time I heard "I don't know, she's crazy" in response to the question "Why did you break up with her?" I'd melt all 5 gazillion of the nickles together to form one enormous coin and shove it up the ass of the next Fucklehead that utters that phrase in my prescence.

Apparent reasons why Cheapo's ex was crazy:

1) She was upset when he flirted with other girls, DESPITE the fact that he told her that he couldn't help who he was.

2) She farted on him in bed one time...ON PURPOSE! And then laughed about it.

Yes, those were the two reasons he gave me for her being crazy. After a quiet pause, I calmly asked him,

"Did she ever piss in your bed, break $10,000 worth of your computer equipment, or put your house up for sale on Craig's List? Because these are things that I have done to my exes...for starters."

Oddly, I never heard from him after our second date which took place at the ever glamorous "Cheap Shots."

"She's crazy." Yeah, I'd be crazy too if I had to look at that stupid little nose all day.



Xmastime said...

tis how every dude explains every breakup :)

The Know-All said...

What about the ice cream guy???

Sadie said...

Wish I had the guts to do that shit to my ex. I'm such a pansy.