Things I learned in Vegas

1) Drinking at breakfast is one of my favorite things to do. Second only to drinking all day.

2) The Playboy Club is very different from The Playboy Mansion. Who was to know?

3) People in Vegas take their pants off when you tell them to take their pants off. I know this because I told three people to take their pants off and all three of them took their pants off. This never happens in New York. Read: At work.

4) It is possible to eat breakfast twice and pass out twice with two different people in two different rooms in one night.

5) People are actually more dumb and more pathetic than I thought. And I am currently watching a commercial for "The Greatest American Dog" where human beings are asking dogs questions like "What do you think of Obama's health care plan?" and then pausing for a response. My dog liked to sniff other dogs butts. And lick where his balls should have been.

6) I perfected my theory on the "Hot Stupid Guy and his Ugly but much Funnier, Intelligent, Charming Friend," which I will explore in future posts.

7) I don't sweat as much in dry heat, but my hair grows twice as fast.

8) I shouldn't drink two martinis, 4 glasses of wine, eat 3 pounds of sushi, 1 large cup of TCBY frozen yogurt, and 1/4th a bag of Chinese rice crunch mix before getting on a redeye back to New York. It was unpleasant for both myself and the two unlucky individuals that were seated next to me. (But still, kind of funny for me).