Friends Letting Friends Date Drunk

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Things that WILL make me Drop my Panties

9) Four words: "I have a job."

8) Skull tattoos. (evidently)

7) The phrase "The drinks are on me." (100% of the time, it works all the time)

6) Roofies. (But honestly, no need. See #8)

5) Joe Tex (look him up)

4) The phrase "Do you want to hear my old band?" (Accidentally, this falls under both the "Drop my panties" list and the "Never drop my panties list," because last week after I had written the latter list, I found myself in a situation where my panties were already halfway off when he asked me if I wanted to hear his death metal band from the early 2000s...perhaps this was planned? A clever ploy? Touche.)

3) Two words: "Health Insurance."

2) The phrase: "Here is my unlimited credit card. Go have fun." (No, I've never heard it and I probably never will, but I figure if I don't get fat, there's a chance).

1) Actually following through with the promised home repairs and improvements. I've had more than a dozen dudes come into my apartment, offer to fix my shelves, construct a bookcase that doubles as a bar, design a bed that solves mysteries and fights crime, and maybe ONE of them has actually followed through. And by this, I mean he changed a light bulb. Begrudgingly.

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