He declared his love for me over and over again before, he called my (throat clear) "vagina" my (double throat clear) "Shame-Shame," during, and instantly rolled off of me, walked over to the couch, and settled in to read New York Post directly followed by The Daily News after.*
This happened every. Single. Time. We. Did. It. The. Exact. Same. Way.
Yes, i realize that some of you probably consider him a hero.
I sort of do too.
*Eventually, I would try to get up first and beat him to the couch, reasoning that somehow this was salvaging some sense of pride. And so that I could do the crossword in the Daily News before he read it.